The Cat's A$$hole podcast cover
a.k.a. the cat's a money honey hole
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(xxx-rated, with a light-hearted edge)

For $5 a month, subscribers get access to all the behind-the-scenes practice sessions, film sessions, warm-ups, and live rehearsed performances, as well as the unscripted dialogues about two best friends learning how to fuck like the sluts they pretend not to be.

The catch? They can't fuck each other, or Dr. Hobbes. No. They have to learn to make themselves come, with the help of trustworthy teammates.

Cricket and Tilly book cover

Cricket builds a house that moves with the sun. She also knows, magically, that the volcano will erupt in exactly two years to the day. No more, no less. This is a love story about what two absolutely ridiculous creatures do with a ridiculous deadline. It's a story of how Cricket keeps building anyway, how Tilly keeps showing up anyway, each caring for the other in their own particular, foolish way.

The last page is the lava, taking them both.

Written simply, but for adults. Adult language throughout. Five to ten minutes, cover to cover. Four iterations of this series are planned, and each one goes up as soon as it's written, not on a schedule. Made for anyone in a relationship with a brilliant moron they can't help but like.

Read Iteration 1

Why I Suck book cover

Emily has a habit: she takes something rare about herself, like spending six weeks painting a single window, and calls it weak. Pathetic. Proof she sucks.

Her nympho partner, Jade, sees the same thing in Emily and calls it beautiful. Feels pampered by it, loved by it, inhabited by it. Emily, however, can't hear any of that. She's too busy sucking on buckets of salty thoughts.

The surprise character is an owl, who thinks Emily is a brilliant moron, can't help but like her, and is slowly teaching her the only skill the whole book is actually about: how to listen to Jade, instead of to her own sucky jizz thoughts.

Written simply, but for adults. Adult language throughout. Five to ten minutes, cover to cover. Four iterations of this series are planned, and each one goes up as soon as it's written, not on a schedule. Made for anyone in a relationship with a brilliant moron they can't help but like.

Read Iteration 1